Do not fret

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil.
Psalm 37:8

I’m a fretter/worrier. I’m also quick to anger. Both of these are dangerous things that could lead to sin. I’m sure most of you already know about the anger one, because when one is angry, one often says/does stupid things they will regret when they’ve calmed down. I experienced this first hand when the weekend of my birthday, and I’ll spare you of the nasty details (yelling, cussing, not pretty). But when we worry, one, we’re saying that we don’t trust in God’s timings and ways, and two, we will often do stupid things (which we think are beneficial at first) to make those worries go away. Again, what I experienced the weekend of my birthday was an indirect result of me worrying things won’t happen, and now, things certainly aren’t happening after I’ve ruined it. :(

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Psalm 37:7

For me, it’s hard to be still and wait, because when I want something, I want it now. Yes, I have a bad case of instant gratification syndrome, but that doesn’t mean I should allow my impatience to control me. It’s especially hard when I see other nonbelievers achieving their dreams and goals with their own doing, which makes me think: if they can do it, why can’t I? But that’s not what God tells us to do. He tells us to wait for him and to not fret. To be still before Him and patiently wait for His perfect timing. Why? Because:

Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:6

This is one of my favorite verses in the bible. God will give us what we want. Our dreams, our hopes, our goals, anything we want. We don’t need to toil our butts off for it and risk ruining it, we just need to take delight in God, and He’ll take care of the rest. It’s just like when we please our earthly parents and them giving us what we want in return. If our parents on earth are willing to do that for us, how much more our Father in heaven.

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Silence by choice

Lord, you have seen this, do not be silent. Do not be far from me, Lord.
Psalm 35:22

Sometimes I wonder why God seems so far away, and that when I cry out to Him, I can’t seem to hear His voice. Is He ignoring me on purpose? Does He hate me now? But as I was meditating on this verse and on the idea of God being silent/distant, it hit me. God isn’t being silent because He no longer loves us, but because He wants us to draw closer to Him. When everything is well in life and your spiritual walk, it’s easy for us to want to draw close to God. But what about when times are tough and we’re going through a spiritual dry spell? It’s times like these, when we can’t seem to hear God, that we need to seek Him even harder.

While in awe at the above revelation I had, another one hit me. God will never “shout” to get our attention. Every day we are bombarded with voices: voices from people, voices from society, voices from the media, voices from within, all competing for our attention, and believe me, those voices won’t hold back from yelling to do so. But not God. His voice will remain, ever so quiet, only audible to those who are willing to seek it.

In the end, it comes down to us. How desperate are we to hear God’s voice? Are we willing to turn off all those other noises to seek His? It’s hard, at least for me, but remember, those who seek, they shall find.

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Out of control

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eyes on you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.”
Psalm 32:8-9

I remember reading Black Beauty as a child about how painful it is for horses to have a bit and bridle (especially the bit) be used on them. However, this is the only way to control a horse’s movements and direction, since they lack the understanding and judgment of human kinds. However, we as humans are often like these silly horses to God. We lack the understanding and wisdom of God, so in each of our lives, God has a bit and bridle installed, though He is reluctant to use it. After all, we are human beings, not horses, and God created us with the ability to have a higher understanding of His will and His ways, as long as we are willing to seek after it.

Yet more often than not, I find myself trying to do things my own way out of pride and stubbornness, thinking that I would know more than God (or perhaps not even thinking at all). How silly. Yes, it’s true that God  love us so He gave us free choice to make our own decisions, but He loves us too much to let us completely wander astray. So like the horse, God will tug on our bit and bridle to make sure we don’t run ourselves over the cliff. It’s a painful tug to say the least, but it is the consequence for doing things our way instead of God’s way.

I experienced this tug first hand just this past weekend. I tried to take things into my own hands, even though the Spirit had warned me otherwise. In the end, I ended up ruining what could’ve been something wonderful in the long run and humiliating myself while I was at it. Talk about a painful pull in the bit from God. :/

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Emmanuel – God with us

Lately I’ve been feeling the opposite of that: God not with me. I didn’t know where He was, nor what was going on with my life. I just felt like everything was falling apart: my family, my school work, my relationship, my future, everything. I felt like everything I’ve depended on as sources of comfort were all slipping away slowly: my mom, my good grades, my boyfriend, God…and I feel so helpless to do anything. But this song we sang in church the other day has brought me some comfort in the midst of this storm:

Emmanuel – Hillsong
Holy Holy
I will bow before
My Lord and King
Hallelujah
You have come to us
You make all things new

Emmanuel
Jesus Christ
You’ll never let me go
My Sheperd King
You’re watching over me
Emmanuel

So amazing
You have named the stars
Of the deepest night
Still You love me
You have called my name
I will follow You

Holy Holy
God Almighty
There is none like You
Holy Holy
God Almighty
There is none like You

There was a prophecy about Jesus that said he would be born of a virgin and be called Emmanuel1, which means God with us. This “God with us” has a deeper meaning than just God being amongst us. It also implies that Jesus, as fully man and fully God, understood and experienced all the anguishes and pains we as humans have felt. There is no suffering we have gone through, whether it be loneliness2, betrayal3, or distance from God4, that Jesus himself has not felt.

Listening to this song, I’m reminded of the fact that God is not only with me, but that He fully understands my pain. Like the lyrics say, He is my Shepherd King, and He will never let me go. My problems are still there, but at the same time, so is God.

  1. Matthew 1:23 ↩
  2. Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, right before he was betrayed ↩
  3. Jesus betrayed by his own disciple with a kiss. ↩
  4. when Jesus carried all our sins on that cross. ↩

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Throw Your Pride In the Trash

I am the way and the truth and the life.
John 14:6

I recently found a post titled Throw the Bible in the Trash through Twitter, and I was appalled at the content of the post and the site in general. From what I read, the author sounded like someone who thought religions have done us more harm than good, and that we should just live life according to our “own” morals, decency, and intelligence. Because apparently, “trying to live by such an outdated and specious text is only making humanity deranged”.

Well, whoever wrote the post is wasting their time, because our society has already thrown the bible (along with God) in the trash. We’ve already been living according to our “own” human morals and intelligence, but look where that has gotten us? Divorce rate is at an all time high, crime rate hasn’t gone down, and terrorism, an once unknown concept, is now making headlines in world news. The truth is, we are all sinners1 and many times, we will twist and manipulate to achieve our own selfish goals. It can be something as small as lying about stealing cookies from the cookie jar, or as big as killing thousands in 9/11 in the name of Allah.

Yes, many in the past have been killed (and perhaps innocently) in the name of Christianity, but realize that the doing of this is human, not God. No where in the bible does it say that we should kill others for God’s name’s sake, but instead, the bible warns us not to judge others2, for judgement is God’s alone. By executing the judgement on God’s behalf to the point of taking people’s lives, that is totally against what the bible teaches and is the result of human’s sinful nature, not God. God’s name was an excuse, just like democracy was the excuse for the US war against Iraq.

If you think living by such an “outdated” text is insane, would life be any better if I lived by what society is telling me? That means I should start sleeping around with random guys, friends and enemies alike, by the time I’m 16. And if I get pregnant, it’s ok, because I can always get an abortion. Oh and if I do give birth to the baby, I won’t know who the father is because I slept with 2 other guys while dating another, all at the same time. But once I find out who my baby daddy is, I’ll backstab and spread rumors about this girl my baby daddy is going out with so I can get him to come back to me, even though I don’t even really like him. He’s just rich and I need the money. Yes, this is what society is feeding us, and what’s worse, it’s telling us that doing things like these are ok and actually pretty cool. Hell, everyone on TV, real or not, does it, so it can’t be wrong.

I hope no one really thought the above situation was “right”, and though it’s exaggerated, things like those are becoming more prevalent now than ever. I can’t help what others think of the bible and of God. But what I know is that if people try to achieve anything using their own intelligence, own morals, own strengths, it will only get them so far. Our society is the perfect example. After all these years, how much have we really advanced from our 1600’s forefathers? Wars are still being fought, people are still dying, shit still happens. So I say before you throw the bible in the trash, why not throw your pride in first?

  1. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. ↩
  2. Matthew 7:1, Luke 6:37, Romans 14:10 ↩

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4 Hardest Letters

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31

L-O-V-E, easy to spell, seemingly easy to execute, but hard as anything if you want to do it God’s way1. For me, this is one of the major reasons why I don’t like to tell people I’m a Christian. Not that I’d deny it if people asked, but I don’t walk around going “OMGILOVEJESUS”. Don’t get me wrong, because God is an important part of my life. Yet here I am still learning to love the perfect God, who died for my sins, so how can I possibly love other people, especially the ones that just makes me want to curse them to hell and beyond? And if others can’t see the love of Christ flowing through me, I feel like saying “OMGILOVEJESUS” would be like a slap across God’s face.

I have a friend who falls into the “curse them to hell and beyond” category for me. The ironic thing is, he is Christian. But dear Lord, he is JUST SO DIFFICULT to deal with. One minute he’s happy and nice, the next he just starts snapping at you like you’ve murdered his family or something. I know it’s easy to love people when they’re nice, but for the love of God, I just can’t bring myself to love people when they’re being irrational twats like that. Yet God calls me to do it anyways. Needless to say, I’ve failed thus far, which is probably why I’m faced with the situation again and again. But God will help me grow. He’s doing it right now.

What are your experiences on loving difficult people?

  1. Read 1 Corinthians 13. That would be God’s definition of love, not the sappy fluffy twisted version our society has come up with ↩

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Who is My Celebrity Doppelganger?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14

There’s this new fad going on on Facebook where everyone is using their celebrity doppelganger as their new profile picture. Out of curiosity, I uploaded a photo of mine to a website to see who my celebrity look-alike would be, and to my sadness, I didn’t really look like anyone. I tried different photos of myself, but same results. All of a sudden, I felt very unattractive. In my mind, I had somehow equated being beautiful with having a celebrity doppelganger; surely if I was good looking, I’d resemble somebody famous.

Then it just clicked: God made everyone to be unique in their own way. My beauty is not determined by whether or not I looked like a celebrity; it’s not even determined by what other people think. God says Himself that we were all fearfully and wonderfully made, and that is the one and only judgement that matters. It’s hard to grasp on to this concept when we live in a such a superficial world, but with the grace of God, we can do it.

So it’s ok that I don’t have a celebrity doppelganger, and if I ever do, it should be God. After all, we were created in His image.

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Morning Will Come

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
Psalm 30:5

Praise God, my mom’s surgery went well and she is now out of the hospital and slowly recovering. Though the doctors were unable to see any cancerous growth during the operation, we are still waiting for the test results to come back and confirm. On the surface I seem to be coping with the whole ordeal quite well, though I know it is God’s words and strength that continues to sustain me and my family. However, somewhere deep in my heart, there is still that fear of the unknown that I just lock away and pretend that it doesn’t exist.

Yet God knew and saw those fears, and today, He reaffirmed me with the verses from Psalm 30, which could not be any more explicit.

  • In verse 11, God promises to rescue my mom and not allow cancer to triumph over her.
  • In verse 22, He promises to restore my mom’s health, for He has heard our cries for help.
  • In verse 33, He promises to keep my mom from the pit of death.

Praise God, for His anger is short but His favor is eternal. There will be dark nights that might be filled with sadness and fear, but rest assured, joy will come in the morning, for our God is a faithful God.

  1. I will exalt you, LORD, for you rescued me.You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. ↩
  2. O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my health. ↩
  3. You brought me up from the grave, O LORD. You kept me from falling into the pit of death. ↩

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Listen Closely

The voice of the Lord is over the waters…is powerful…is majestic…breaks the cedars…strikes with flashes of lightening…shakes the desert…twists the oaks and strips the forest bare.
Psalm 29:3-9

There’s a Chinese Christian song I really like, and the lyrics go something like this:

Listen closely, I will listen closely, I will listen closely for the voice of the Lord.
Listen closely, He is listening closely, the Shepherd knows my voice.
He is our Shepherd, the Lord of our lives, and all my life I will follow His voice .
He is our Shepherd, the Lord of our lives, His sheep knows His voice.

Like Psalm 29 describes, when we do listen closely for the voice of the Lord, we will find that He is constantly speaking to us: through other people, through nature, through circumstances, and of course, through the bible. His voice is that of power, enough to calm the storm raging outside and within us, enough to bring us the comfort, joy, strength, or whatever we may need.

The voice of God however, is never in-your-face loud. Though Psalm 29 says His voice shakes the desert and twists oaks, if we have not the heart to listen for His voice, we would still not recognize it even if God screamed in our faces (which He will never do). This is why the song urges us to listen closely, and when we do, we will begin to recognize and know His voice.

The song goes on to bring out another point Psalm 29 didn’t explicitly say: that God knows our voices, and He too, is listening closely to what we say. Remember in the book of Revelations, when all activities of heaven stopped so the prayers of God’s people could rise with the incense before God. Indeed, our Shepherd is listening closely for our voice.

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Redeemed in Mercy and Love

My feet stand on level ground; in the great congregation I will praise the Lord.
Psalm 26:12

I like Psalms because it applies a lot to my life. In it David speaks of his worries, his anger, his joys, his hopes, all these things that me and you experience in our day to day lives. But when I read Psalm 26, I was stuck. Throughout the entire psalm, David asked God to vindicate him for he was a blameless man. It went on saying how he didn’t sit with the deceitful or the hypocrites, how he has lived in reliances of God’s faithfulness, and basically pointing out that he was not like the other “sinners” out there.

Forget  about sitting with the hypocrites, I’m just going to be honest and admit that I was one of the hypocrites! How can I proclaim this psalm like David did when I felt the complete opposite of him? I certainly didn’t live a blameless life, so does that mean the Lord won’t redeem me and be merciful to me?

Then it hit me: God has already redeemed me, with the blood of His very own son. In His unfailing love and mercy, He has already paved the path for redemption before the world was even formed. Since the fall of Adam, no man, except for Jesus, has ever led a totally sinless life, not even David. Yet when God sees us, He doesn’t see our sins, but sees us covered and cleansed by the blood of the Lamb. So indeed, our feet stand on level ground, and in the great congregation we shall praise the Lord.

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